This little girl
Is going to grow up
And find out
About all of these
And spend her life
What the fuck happened
Because you little shits
Cannot contain yoursleves
oh my god
I want to grow up and live in a small apartment in new york and have a husky and be with you.
….tea rexes. Hahaha? Get it? Tea. Ha. I’m going to sleep.
IM A TEENAGER I WANNA BE DANGEROUS I WANNA DO SOMETHING CRAZY I WANNA GO STEAL A TRAFFIC LIGHT
AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO THOUGHT TRAFFIC LIGHTS WERE A LOT SMALLER
YOU THINK THAT’S BIG?? CHECK OUT THIS STOP SIGN I JUST GRABBED
STOP STEALING ROAD NAVIGATIONAL ESSENTIALS.
imagine if all people you hate turned into angry lizards
this is 911 state your emergency
YES I NEED HELP IMMEDIATELY I CAN’T FIND MY LIZARD
911 I THINK MY LIZARD IS BROKEN
YOU THINK YOU’VE GOT PROBLEMS? MY PHONE SEEMS TO HAVE LOST IT’S LEGS
911 I CAN’T GET MY PHONE OFF THE RECEIVER
MA’AM YOUR PHONE NEEDS TO BE IN THE UNLOCKED POSITION AND MAY NEED TO BE PROVIDED WITH ADDITIONAL HARDWARE TO FUNCTION CORRECTLY.
YES HELLO 911 CAN YOU HEAR ME I DROPPED MY HEADSET IN THE WATER DO YOU READ
TO BE HONEST 911, I AM NOT SURE WHAT MY PHONE IS DOING
911 MY PHONE IS FACING THE WRONG WAY AND I CAN’T GET IT TO TURN AROUND.
yes 911 hello all these people are crazy
this is still going around and it makes me rly happy.
so other than that, mrs. lincoln, how was the play
Name your child Gotham so you can think to yourself that “Gotham needs me” when they start crying at 3am.
But nickname them Justice so when people ask why you look so tired, you can say “Justice never sleeps.”
You’re going to have to marry me now
After a lot of rain here in FL these baby frogs appeared. They eerily all faced the same direction.
ＴＨＥ ＲＩＴＵＡＬ ＨＡＳ ＢＥＧＵＮ
'you shouldn't eat that it's too fattening/full of calories'
*proceeds to eat both food and person*